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Saturday, November 22, 2008

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Spending Valentines Day alone

Posted by stEphEn LouiE rAmos ChEca

Spending Valentines Day alone is not a problem at all. This is not an act of sour-graping or any psychological reaction to an impending reality that would encumber me or anyone of us this fourteenth day of the love month, but an act of facing the truth and looking at the brighter side of life. Yes, the literal “brighter side of life” for I know that many of us tend to forget to take a glance in this beautiful and more essential part of living. Many of us tend to stay idle and let themselves be eaten by their loneliness and indifference until they find out in the last seconds of their lives that they become losers of their own contests and from their self made labyrinths. During Valentine season people, both lovers and not, are busy. They become anxious of how and where they would celebrate it. My friends would usually save their money for a simple token of love or a simple act of thoughtfulness for their beloved or perhaps by just being one with the celebration. Even kids who got knowledge about this celebration would break their hard earned piggy banks for a simple card or token of love for their nanay and tatay. And as I look around, I can see stores selling Valentine items, streets and walls embellished with heart icons and valentine emblems. Even radio stations, newspapers, mags and TVs are replete with valentine promos and commercials, Restaurants also compete in selling dinner tickets for two for a romantic valentine offering for couples and lovers while bachelors and maidens seek for a date or a last minute ticket from eternal singleness. All these things or even more than this makes the love month extra ordinary in two ways. It is special for those who are in love or those who just got a spark of it, for those who have their wives/husbands in their side, for those who received a proposal of marriage from her fiancé and promised her an indelible love while putting a diamond ring on her finger or for a guy who received an elusive “yes” from the woman of her dreams, or even for those who has the itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny feeling of having his or her first boyfriend/girlfriend in his or her teenage life or simply being invited to a dinner date by someone he/she considers special. But what about the other way around? I mean, for those who have no husband or wife, for those who have no girlfriend or boyfriend? How about those who are still on display on the shelf of "singlehood" (I can’t find a good adjective for it anyway) or those who still walk alone everyday? How about those whose hearts are wounded by their dark past i.e. victims of shattered relationships, failed marriages, those who were dumped and those who were snubbed etc.? These are just simple realities which I mirrored in from my observations and experiences in the past and these past few days. Some are products empirical sharing from my friends and colleagues who are under the same sky with me and some even share the same fate with me. But what fate do I have? Well, I have been in both ways. I have experienced spending Valentines Day while being in the spell of love. I mean, spending it with somebody. Yes I do have girlfriends (I used the plural form because I mean all) in the past. I have experienced having a Valentine dinner date with somebody I considered special. I have experienced saving my money for a token to be given to her on this special occasion (I always cease the day to let someone feel how I treasure them for I believe that life is a series of change and uncertainties that I may not have the chance to do things again). I have learned to appreciate the precious spark of having somebody to spend in this special day. But indeed life is in flux and the world revolves. I have been in the other way around too; I have been wounded, crushed and left alone. I have experienced a Valentines Day hugging my self alone. I have experienced a Valentines Day staring alone at the lovers walking hand in hand and embracing each other. I have experienced a Valentines Day with a feeling of being a loser and orphan. I admit I envied people who have somebody to spend their Valentine’s Day with. I even remember how I would imagine having the power to stop the ticking of clock or skip Valentine’s Day just to live a day without any depression and a feeling of vacuum until I realized that I have no power to do it. But one thing made me expect another Valentine’s Day without fear of having this dreadful feeling again. Few days from now as I scribble these thoughts, comes another Valentines Day and I have nobody to spend it with. Yes, I have no girlfriend or special someone to have a dinner date or hold hands with but I am happy and contented. This time I would not labor in vain looking for one or force myself to another girl with the same fate as mine. It would be unfair. I would just let the rain fall if it wants to fall on me. I would gladly receive its showers. I won’t look for love but I would let it find me, but if not now it would still be fine after all I am not alone or I won’t spend this Valentine’s Day alone. I have my friends who are always there for me and never get tired of understanding and accepting me for who I am. I have my parents and brothers who deserve much love from me. Most of all there is SOMEONE out there who loves me unconditionally and WHO always remain true in HIS promises.The one WHO knows me very much, gave up HIS life for my sake and WHO always want to have a date with me in my prayers. I may not have a girlfriend or a Valentine date this time but I am so lucky; I have my freedom and I have my choices still and I choose to go on and I choose to hope for the best things life would offer me in the future. After all, life is what we make and being happy and contented is our choice.It's just a matter of dealing with. We could even make everyday a Valentines Day if we just live everyday in love. And besides, loving should not be spent in just a day but for a lifetime and Valentine’s Day would only exist when we choose to believe in it. Let's just make our doors and windows open. And I always choose to love.

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Comments (2)

	1. 15-02-2008 08:13
	very nice article you have written steph. it's love that makes the world go round ... pangita dayun ka imu palanggaon. Registered Report

vicpjr

	2. 20-02-2008 04:16
	Greetings! datu,late run ko ha? Happy Valentine's Day! What a wonderful words if wisdom!!Thanks! We learned from it all! Valentine's Day is everyday when L-O-V-E is shared unconditionally! God is love! "I am His Beloved and He is mine..His banner over me is Love". Song of Solomon 2:16 Registered Report

nenen422

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