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I never liked the place where I was born then. Never been proud of it because everytime people ask me of the place where I am from and then I answer, "Antique", they never know where it is. And so come the follow up question of where is Antique, which I totally abhor explaining. I never liked it. Not until, I stumbled into this site. It was purely because of mistaken identity than out of curiosity, I logged in and was happy to see my first ever write-up that was published in a national newspaper. Hence, out of my appreciation for posting that article, I joined the website. Plus the pulse of being able to do something for the place that I don't like was reawakened. Maybe it was just there inside me. Maybe I was not just really aware of the sense of responsibility for my province. The longing to help was there, and since I was able to find the venue where I can put into practice the thing that I love most, writing, I was ecstatic with all of the things that I want to happen in the site and in my province. I was dearly accepted. I gained friends, a lot of them. The type of friends whom you'll never trade for anything else in this damn world because they love you in the truest way. And some, the fakest, who go around blabbering somebody else's life to another person. Who talk and talk, yet not doing anything but give a bad name to this site. I was furious when I first learned of those chatters who talk nasty and nonsense in the chatbox. Furious, maybe because I really worked hard to help put up and give the site a good name. Not just me, but the site administrator and the other moderators. And furious, maybe because, the truth of how nonsensical Antiqueños could be is being shown to me, face to face. This gives me a picture of how Antique really is, on the bad side. The website became my playground for creativity. I now love writing Kinaray-a poems. It gave me a vast space of practicing my sense of responsibility, patience and most importantly, nationalism. I gave up long hours at home with my family, because I know I am much needed where the action is. It was all because of Kinaray-a.com. I wanted to make a difference. I hope I really did. I don't mind even if the gap is big. I didn't mind being given memos because of being caught by the IT opening this site. I didn't mind if I stopped eating and spending my lunch outside just because of this site. I can see that the members are growing everyday. Two thousand and counting. A lot of prominent and promising Antiqueños are members. But all I'm really wondering is if all of us here know where in our hearts is Antique? Did we join the site because of the chatroom? Did we join because "wala lang"? Did we join because it is cool to be part of its group? Did we join because we miss Antique? Did we join because we're looking for boyfriends or girlfriends? Did we join because we want to fool around? Or did we join because here is a promising site which can make huge leaps towards helping Antique be on top of our region, our country and even the whole world? Manong Manie asked me this question, "Where is Antique in your heart?" , after hearing my planned hiatus. Whew! That was a good one. I hope we can see the image behind the picture. The website is a mere mechanism. And if you have listened to your Communication teacher, it is the channel of communication between us, the members, and our province, Antique. We could be the receiver of the message, we could be the sender. Whichever way, it is mutual. It is a medium of putting into practice, in putting into physical things how our love for our province could be. I'm writing this because I lost my passion for this site. The flame is dying maybe because of some things that I do not really understand and I am not that grown-up to understand them. And hoping, that through this, I will be able to realize more and look clearly and change my answer to Manong Manie's question. Delete the second sentence, that is. I am hoping to re-live that flame so that I can burn more, therefore, affect more people and help in making a huge change for Antique.
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When I first joined the site, I was partly fooling around and a bit curious, but after spending more time, I have found out that this is the right place where I can practice \\\"public service\\\". I always long to join one because I want to help in some way to alleviate the sufferings of our province. As time went by, I wast given responsibilities, which i wholeheartedly accepted and tried to do the best that i can possibly do. I share the same state, which is my own \\\"flame\\\" is dying also. Why? because i expected too much from the site, and expected more after hearing it will become a oranization soon. That was my mistake, I expected too much, i went sour after seeing how things are running... and after i discussed it with a friend, it just been regarded as a \\\"norm\\\", because we are in the Philippines, it\\\'s a natural thingy, blah blah blah, as if there\\\'s no room for improvement... well it will take time for me to rekindle that flame, I\\\'ll probably learn from this experience... I hope ma ayos ang amo ja nga issue... Godbless us all... If we dont want to lose someone important, we might as well do something about it, I hope the rule of usefullness doesnt apply, and the only reason is that \\\"i care...\\\"
hmmmm WHERE IS ANTIQUE IN YOUR HEART???? I was moved by the title of this essay so here I am reading it but then as I start to read this post a feeling of ambivalence stuck me...I dont need to read the body of this post to get my answer on the feelings of the author, it really makes me sad to know somebody writing a post like this but deep in her heart as she says she hate antique... the beloved province of us all....for me its very important to trace your roots for your roots speaks a lot about WHO YOU ARE,if other people ask you where antique is then proudly show to them where it is, show to them not only in words but in your actions how a REAL ANTIQUENIA IS, make them see through you how proud you are of being an ANTIQUENIA... but then as what the author implies about her feelings for ANTIQUE IN GENERAL if I am the other person i will not be interested to know further where antique is, im just a half antiquenia, why half for im not born in antique but my dad is a true blooded antiquenio but then im always proud to say that IM AN ANTIQUENIA for in my heart of hearts I AM...as what the author says alot of people dont know where antique is but then you cant blame them for in reality a lot of people dont know a lot of things about PHILIPPINES in generel, all you have to do is give them info about antique and make ANTIQUE proud for in doing so it really shows your concern to OUR BELOVED PROVICE....ANTIQUE 
im here again this time i wanna say something about the body of this essay...for me it shows a lot of sentiments????hehehehhee sentiments of the author hmmmmm... well if i read this right it speaks about dissapointment and failure, life in general is full of this it depends on us how we tuckle issues and feelings like this, for they said its not important how you fall but how you stand up again and recover your crumpled emotions...i joined this site out of curiosity for somebody invited me, the first time i joined the chatroom i felt IM FINALLY HOME... i cant explaine it but thats how i really felt that time for everyone is so kind and sweet..being in the chatroom for firt timers like me is like im in a chaos for your dealing with people you dont know personally you have to read behind the lines or just accept the remark as it is,you dont have to be so idealistic about the flow of the topic in the chatroom for any topic will do and in the first place theirs no rules as to what kind of topic ryt so we need to adapt, just go with the flow as long as its just a general topic if you dont want what their talking you have two options, go out of the chatroom or you can PM the person concerned for we cant pls everydoby esp person we dont know personally, about the authors effort to help put up this site were all very glad about it, face the battle dont just let your sacrifices be worthless, its normal to face this kind of problem, you should expect the worst for by doing so you'll not stumble in the first blow... goodluck..
