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so•lil•o•quy the act of talking while or as if alone Source: http://www.factmonster.com/ipd/A0661389.html
Nanay and I are exact opposites in every perspective. We had arguments, the usual mother-daughter “she said, I said” relationship. No matter how I insist though, I end up taking her advice. Oh, yes. I have been in so much trouble ignoring her motherly pieces of advices. She has envisioned that I'll be following her footsteps. A teacher, 61 years old and very much active in the service, it's what I call genuine public service. I am so proud of her. When I was in grade school, I used to walk 7 kilometers to attend class (that was with my mother and her fellow teachers, of course)... It didn't matter if it was heavily raining or we were all burning under the heat of the sun. It wasn't really an issue while growing up. Little by little, I have absorbed the idea of sacrifices. Now that I’m a grown up, I don't easily cry my butt off on small things. It takes so much to piss me off. No weather can prevent my mother from going to school. She has suffered from pharyngitis and congenital heart disease. She was adviced to get vocal rest for a month but she never did. She never stopped teaching. I wonder if I can do the same thing. Giving to the community without expecting something in return, it takes a pure heart to survive from it. Nanay is deeply devoted teaching her students (I know, I was in her Social Studies class). If not, she could have been a principal now. She never accepted the post, it was offered over and over again but she never got tired declining it. I know some of you may find such thing a hypocrisy, but trust me. 28 years in service, her love for classroom humor never faded. She’ll talk about students we hardly know. I envy her, I used to laugh at the idea of becoming a teacher but I look at my mother and reality hits me that I can't even measure up to her happiness, she has treated her craft a vocation (never call it a profession, that's the reason we end up arguing)... I don’t call mine a vocation. It’s a job, one that keeps me floating in the mid-air. No highs, just lows.  I'd like to give back to the community but not by becoming a teacher, I promise myself I will. It’s not just my dream; it’s my mother's, too. Currently, I’d like to convince myself, however, that I’m well and just fine. But of course, financial stability doesn't define happiness. You can be satisfied but burned out. When you're happy, you don't think about how much you earn, you believe that you'll survive. Such an impacting difference which for a moment is an issue to me, I guess mine focuses on a surge of youth hormonal deficiency. I don’t know if this is mid-life crisis. I am not even half way through life and I feel like I haven’t contributed anything. My conscience is bothering me. I just try to shrug it off or ignore such dilemma. Sometimes you have to carry a certain degree of lunacy to survive in this world.
For years, nanay didn't just dedicate her life to us but to the community as well. Nanay has successfully fulfilled her calling. I can say that she has become a foundation. I admire the respect that people have given her all through out the years. I must say that her dedication separates her from being ordinary. What am I supposed to do now? Enjoy the current status of being a hypocritical mediocre? Thanks a lot but no thanks. I salute individuals who manage to discover their craft. I haven’t found mine, yet. Hopefully my mother’s dedication will inspire me. I don’t see myself enslaved by my current job. Don’t get me wrong, I am way far from being an absolute hopeless case. God makes little miracles, FAITH is more than enough for me. 
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But I think that's just half of it, i'm still searching for the other half.
hmmmm we have onething in common charvi, having a mom that is a dedicated teacher ehhehehe, like your mom andami na offers abroad decline nia kc mas mahal nia ang pinas hehehe, retired na sia as HS teacher but then lipat naman sia as college prof sa isang university...anyway mas masarap mg work if its really your calling to do that job iba kc ang feeling ng accomplishment mo at the end of the day kahit pa sabihing grabe ang pressure at sometimes di well compensated....
