Share ko lang ang istorya ko kaninyo with my first ex... Wara ko kamaan kung diin ko maumpisa kag wara ko kamaan kung may mental ability pa ako para isulat diya ka mayad. Sorry lang guid kung medyo indi maintindihan ang hagwa ka surulaton ko sa dalum.

I was in Manila at the time on my 2nd try to get my degree (I failed), rayo akon mga relatives rugto and I was practically living alone, nagarenta lang ako ka sangka kuwarto kag super introvert ako kang una amo ra maski duro kilala ko sa eskwelahan, medyo nabudlayan ko makipaginteract kananda.  Then nagkachickenpox ako, ti kuronglang ko sa kuwarto eh para wara ti mainfect sa sagwa, canteen daan sa dalum ka kuwarto ko kag tambayan ka duro nga estudyante. Ang obra ko lang kato chat chat sa IRC (Internet Relay Chat), wara ti mahimo mong, sangsa kaluton ko akon mga bulutong di bla? Bored guid ako, duro akon kachat, kag sara tana sa mga kachat ko. Actually tana ang pinakawarat pulos ko nga kachat hay ti daw wara wara tana ang tanan nga ginaistoryahan namon, daw gasabtanay lang tamon para lang bi kuno gaistoryahanay kami. Daw ano bla, "ah ok..." buta kang pintok pintok ang ginatype. Tapos halin sa IRC, nagtupa sa YM amon istoryahanay. Gabusong gali tana, 6 months, napabusong tana ka aksidente. Palangga na pa kato ang ex na, pero ang nakapabusong kanana indi na palangga (hay daw spur of the moment lang ang natabo kananda). This will sound really really weird. Ambay lang ha, una nga istoryahanay namon sa YM, she said she fell in love with me. And I kinda knew it. Woooooosh, nagtudo ang hangin, hehehe, daw bilib guid ako sa mga bola ko eh. Syempre trip trip lang tana kanakon 'to,  hay di bla gabusong tana kag chat chat lang tana 'to, tama pa karayo distansya namon nga darwa. Indi ko guid maisip nga maging seryoso ako sa bahi nga diya later. Ti hay kurong lang sa kuwarto ako that time daw naging chatmate ko tana, para lang may mahimo ako kag may maistorya, tapos naging textmate. Wara ron ako kamaan kung ano ang mga dason nga natabo, nagbaliskad ang kalibutan ko. Ishortcut ko na lang, ginagaw ko tana sa tatay kang bata na (naging kami). Ouch. Kag sara pa nga ouch. Palangga guid tana ka tawo nga 'to. I was having doubts at that time hay ginaisip ko nga obrahon na lang ko kadya nga tatay ka bata na, pasaluhon na lang ko kadya kang mga responsibilidad. Kag prangka ako nga tawo, duro ron nga byes nga nasakit ko tana sa hambal. For the first time, I told my parents nga may girlfriend ako, kag tana 'to, kag wara ko tana ginkahiya. I gave them all the facts. Kag wara nanda nagustuhan, hay ti gabusong tana kato di bla? Tapos kami ron ka 'to, indi pa ako ang tatay kang bata na. Ang hagwa ko kato sa tanan nga kalahi ko, tanga ako pero okay lang ang importante naobra ko ang gusto ko obrahon. Duro ang against sa relationship namon, pati ron man sa side na, ni hindi na ko mapakilala sa nanay na. Wara ko kamaan kung andut pero we will still going strong maski amo ron kato amon nga sitwasyon, amo lang da garing duro drama.

Sa tuod lang gusto ko raad ang first time ko matugro ko sa maging sawa ko. Pero wara guid ko nakarefuse kanana... Ang first time ko sa gabusong nga bahi, ayos di bla? Gayuhom na lang ko sige type ko kadya, tanga ron kung tanga. Ginkaon ko tanan nga ginpanghambal ko. Nga di ko magpatol sa raw-ay, pobre, kag di virgin. Pero shit, ambay, wara takon kamaan kung ano ang nakaigo kanakon. Pero bukot kalokohan ang natabo, hay for the first time nagpalangga guid ako ka tuold. Ang bukot filial ukon friendly, ang daw dalum, daw may deeper connection, tapos ang connection nga 'to wara ko nanotice, kadya lang nga wara ron kami. So amo to, maski long distance, ginaagtunan ko guid tana, I make it a point to see her. Maski kang naglabor tana, rugto ako sa kilid namaski ginapuot ron ako ka tanan tanan nagagto man gyapon ko.

Then... Ambay, ang natandaan ko lang kadya nga pirmi na ginahambal kanakon, "you keep pushing me away.". Amo ra. Daw naglabo amo relationship eh, syempre may bata tana and she went to work somewhere (nga indi ko ron tana mabisita as often), daw ambay, nadura ron ang time namon sa sara kag sara. Tapos naisip ko man kato nga ano man ang mga ginapanghimo ko? Andut haw nagpatol takon sa nagabusong? Mga amo ra nga muni-muni... Andut haw amo kadya? Sala ang ginahimo ko, indi ako kanana. Indi guid man ako kanana pero asta kadya daw iba guid tana ang nabatyagan ko para kanana. Indi ko gani maexplain, basta deeper connection, hehehe... Dugangan pa ka pagkaemo na (self-proclaimed tana), no offense sa mga emo rogya... Amo 'to, daw ambay, tama guid tana ka depressed pirmi kag ginalampus na kanakon ang depression na. Tama tana ka negative, gusto ko tana buligan pero indi na gusto nga buligan ko tana. Nagaparapit ako kanana pero nagaparayo tana. Liwat liwat ra. I'd try to help her and cheer her up but she'd just wallow in her own pity. Sa point nga 'to,duro ron guid ang natabo kanamon darwa, it must have been my fault too as I think I was the one who caused some of her hate towards herself. Ti amo to, I gave up, if that's what you call it. I simply can't take the fact nga indi na pagbuligan lawas na. So I thought nga maybe if I broke up with her, she'd help herself even if it means hurting her in the process (complicated? hehehe...) What I did was right. Tapos after that we still kept communicating with each other. Duro ron ang natabo, time went by, still we kept communication. I'd still help her if she's in trouble, she's better now, hay unlike kang una, independent ron tana kag she's not as emo anymore (wara ron ang kadramahan nga cut/slit my wrists, the world hates me so I hate it too). She told me that she still held me in that special place in her life and admittedly ginkuon ko man kanana nga I felt the same way pero later ginkuon ko nga wara ron. And that i'm glad it turned out this way. Nga wara naging kami, because it's better this way. Hay gamo lang pirmi amon kabuhi kang gaimawanay pa kami. And I think she's better off without me. Wara ron man ti paagtunan pa amo nga relationship, sa pamilya pa lang namon, kami lang darwa kato ang masadyahan (kag indi man siguro kami masadyahan kung wara ti approval ka mga palangga namon nga tawo). Tapos amo 'to, wara man ti natabo, wara kami nagkabalikan but we ended quite well. Wara ti basulanay, wara't away, everything was said and done. Wara ti gintago, ginhambal tanan.

Ano gani nga harambalun ra? It's better to have lost in love than not to have loved at all? I agree. Because I gained a lot from that loss. I feel better about myself now, daw ang natabo kanakon made me a better person and it made me feel more human. Hay feeling ko kang una ang normal lang, buhi ako, nagaginhawa, nagakaon, nagakadlaw. Pero kang rigto tana daw mas naging sensitive ako. I noticed everything around me, daw naheighten ang senses ko, even ang mga tiny details nanotice ko. Daw nagdasig ang libot kang kalibutan, kag nagaenjoy ako. She had all the flaws that I have loved. In fact, she is the flaw, and I loved her for being that. For making me love someone without bias and without standards, for making me love her for just being her and not for being perfect or ideal. I learned my lesson, and I learned to appreciate the beauty of flaws. I'm glad I met her and i'm glad that I had a relationship with her.

I'm also glad that she finally found someone who I think loves her more than I do. She's getting married in a few months. And i'm really glad for her. I wish her a good life. I still love her. And i'm glad. Because she taught me love, something I never knew I had.

Nali mainlove liwat ako sa pira ka adlaw, and when that time comes, i'll make it right para ako man ang magkahappy ending.

-

I originally wrote this in tagalog and english, gintranslate ko lang sa kinaray-a/english for conformity. Hopefully maintindihanman gyapon tana kung basahon.

	1. 20-07-2008 20:11
	ouchieeeeeeeeee sweet!! ...nyz migO..hehehe...    ...datz d spirit of loving true...      ...how i wish i cud experince dat too..    ...to love the flaw itself wholly..    ..we all know dat life isnt a fairytale always..    ...i believe der is a ryt tym nd ryt person for u..in HIS tym..    ..just kip on loving...lets kip hoping...    ...someday...every tears will become rainbows...    ..remeber..pain is just a categorical imperative hehehe... Registered Report

datu_sumakwel

	2. 21-07-2008 11:58
	aguyyyyyyyyyyyy! wow wat a love story...i wish oneday i can also found a man who will truly love me for being me...naema ako ba...waaaaaaa!hahahha! Registered Report

sorry_blame_it_on_me

	3. 21-07-2008 12:50
	wetwewwwwwwww nice story.... daw naima man ko ba... waaaaaaaaa... way to go migo... kabay nga sa sunod mo nga storya happy ending run .... god bless.... Registered Report

curllets

	4. 22-07-2008 02:52
	wow... grabeee!!! even if i don't understand most of the words written here... (tagkirayglish bay ako)... everything perfectly sank in to me. it was a great story. i can't say "may you have a happy ending"... but what i'll say is... when you find your love, which i'm sure you'll do... it's going to be a great start... of a never-ending story... that i hope to read here someday. :-) Registered Report

SyoKB

	5. 22-07-2008 22:11
	wow... grabeee!!! it was a sob story and inspiring one.  loving without any hesitations  just wait for d one god designed 4 u.  in his time in ur time in perfect time.  daad may makita man ako pareho kara nga laki.   hu will love me for who i am with flaws and with sharp teeth(   spread love pipz Registered Report

jella

	6. 23-07-2008 00:17
	thank you for sharing your story! (special mention to curllets who posted this site in the chatroom!)    just want to share this quote to you anonymous from one of my fave poets:     \"He who learns must suffer, and, even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.\" -Aeschylus       As what SyoKB mentioned... we hope to read another love story next time but it will be a happy ending! good luck!        Honestly, saludo ako sa pareho mo who had this guts to fight for that love... even against your family and friends! Registered Report

ck_1826

	7. 25-07-2008 07:42
	thank you for sharing your story! life quite complicated so many hurdle and sad memories to live on , but atleast you know how to love and to be love and the most important you still kicking and alive! Registered Report

DoctorWho

	8. 28-07-2008 13:05
	love story rakenrol. :-D Registered Report

linapuhan

	9. 01-08-2008 15:24
	weeeeeeeeee im speechless,,, thanks for sharing your story... Registered Report

MeTeam

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