Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Text Size
   
Kinaray-a.com
Welcome, Guest
Please Login or Register.    Lost Password?
Kinaray-a.com Love Corner Love qoutes
LOVE (1 viewing) (1) Guest
Go to bottom Post Reply Favoured: 0
TOPIC: LOVE
#21591
MeTeam (User)
Moderator
Posts: 319
graphgraph
User Online Now Click here to see the profile of this user
LOVE 3 Months, 4 Weeks ago Karma: -1  
LOVE

by Dr. Michael Tobin

Love - - What is it? First, let me tell you what it isn’t. It’s not a something we fall in or out of. It’s not a dreamy, blissful state where all fears, doubts, and worries melt away as we merge into one flesh. And it’s not those glorious first moments of your first love when you were swept away in a wave of ecstasy. I know that’s what the music industry and Hollywood would like us to believe.

It’s interesting how we use language. Think about this - "we fall in love." Fall means to stumble, trip, lose your balance and be out of control. And equally as mysteriously, we fall out of love. It’s as if we’re pushed down a long black tube into a loveless pit. Isn’t that kind of strange? How does this happen? It’s like taking an hallucinogenic. A person suddenly reaches a euphoric state and then just as quickly it wears off and, lo and behold, it’s reality as it was before - - dark and bleak. If this is what love is, then it’s not surprising that relationships have such trouble.

It’s just not possible to trip every single day of your lifeinto a blissful fugue state. So, maybe we need to come up with a better definition of what love is, one which will give us an opportunity to understand what relationships are and how relationships can really succeed.

Love is not falling. It’s giving. Love is a verb, not a noun. You don’t fall into love, you create love. You act lovingly. In other words, you give to your partner. As a function of giving, we create love. The more of yourself you invest into anything or anybody, the more attached you feel to that other thing or other person. A house you build with your hands is a house you feel very attached to.

Love is the same way. Most of us wait passively to let love act upon us. It doesn’t work that way. We need to choose love and we need to act in ways that produce loving responses. In other words, love is about taking a quantum leap from being self-centered to other-centered. To quote the psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan, "Love is achieved when your partner’s needs become at least as important to you as your own."

That may sound rather simple, but putting it into practice is something else. It takes time and work to finally accept the fact that marriage is not about getting all our needs and want to fullfilled. The great challenge for each of us is "to ask not what my partner can do for me but ask what I can do for my partner." This is how we create genuine, deep love.


Dr. Michael Tobin is the Founder and President of WholeFamily and has been a marital and family therapist since 1974.
 
Report to moderator   Logged Logged  
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#21609
amyjel (User)
Datu Lubay
Posts: 79
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:LOVE 3 Months, 4 Weeks ago Karma: -1  
wow meteam..its you again??!!hahaha...its kindda complicated..there are so many meanings and explanation about LOVE...but it sometimes depend on the person, on how he/she would define LOVE...mwaaahhugzz..METEAM!!!
 
Report to moderator   Logged Logged  
 
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#21615
civjun (User)
Datu Lubay
Posts: 73
graphgraph
User Online Now Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:LOVE 3 Months, 4 Weeks ago Karma: 0  
L O V E???
as in lab anay? mahirap yan nakakasakit yan.......
 
Report to moderator   Logged Logged  
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#21631
0o_alterego_o0 (User)
Datu Dumangsil
Posts: 100
graphgraph
User Online Now Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:LOVE 3 Months, 3 Weeks ago Karma: -1  
"LOVE"?ano ra haw?
 
Report to moderator   Logged Logged  
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#21637
chicks (User)
Datu Puti
Posts: 1046
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:LOVE 3 Months, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 6  
Love is a sickness because everybody who is affected ends up on bed..
 
Report to moderator   Logged Logged  
 
This thread of togetherness has bound us throughout our lives it now sustain us, as we face the burden of our common cross with the certainty that our shared pain has a mighty purpose.. "We are the one."
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
#21653
curllets (User)
Datu Puti
Posts: 508
graphgraph
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Re:LOVE 3 Months, 3 Weeks ago Karma: 0  
Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new...
 
Report to moderator   Logged Logged  
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
Go to top Post Reply
Powered by FireBoard